Hellboy (2019) REVIEW

Plot Synopsis:

Based on the graphic novels by Mike Mignola, Hellboy, caught between the worlds of the supernatural and human, battles an ancient sorceress bent on revenge (IMDb).

Review:

I was a big fan of what Guillermo del Toro did with “Hellboy” and “Hellboy: The Golden Army” he made great use with practical and a bit of special effects in his film to make an interesting story, but his concluding third movie got the kibosh and instead we got this reboot, so- with bad word of mouth, what do I think of it?

I’ll start off with the positives: David Harbour was a pretty good Hellboy (even though I still prefer Ron Perlman) and I thought the creature designs were pretty cool- especially the pig demon henchman. I also liked the father and son relationship between Hellboy and Professor Broom.

Now, let’s traverse the 9 Circles of Hell that make up the bad portions of this film:

There’s some pretty bad CGI that’s noticeable. The swearing and the gore (especially towards the end) felt like it was there just because the film is rated R now with no real purpose (this film feels like it’s trying WAY too hard to be edgy), and the story is very incoherent. Another problem I had is the main villain, the Blood Queen played by Milla Jovovich and she’s a bland villain that wants to destroy the world because she was cut into pieces and put inside boxes, she’s a boring villain that lacks any real personality.

The way they ended this movie introduces a character in a very hokey way and it leaves it open for a sequel that I’m betting money isn’t going to happen.

Grade:

It’s not the worse thing I’ve seen in the world, but it’s not great either. I’m more angry at the fact that Hellboy 3 died for this when no one was asking for a reboot.

I’m giving Hellboy (2019) a 6/10 or a D.

“Glass” Movie Review

Synopsis:

Following the conclusion of Split, Glass finds Dunn pursuing Crumb’s superhuman figure of The Beast in a series of escalating encounters, while the shadowy presence of Price emerges as an orchestrator who holds secrets critical to both men (Rotten Tomatoes).

Review:

I was a big fan of “Split” and I thought the idea of making a superhero movie that’s grounded in the real world like “Unbreakable” was cool… and after three years of waiting for the concluding story in this trilogy, I found myself a bit disappointed with this film.

To start things off, I thought the first act of the movie was great! The scenes with Kevin Wendell Crumb AKA The Horde was suspenseful, and I thought it was cool that David Dunn’s son (who is also the same actor from “Unbreakable”) worked with his dad at his security store to keep tabs on crime in the area.

The second act was kinda slow to me, and you could argue “Well the movie “Unbreakable” was slow so it makes sense.” But my problem with that is it felt like it didn’t fit with the movie that was set up in the beginning.

Mr. Glass, Samual Jackson’s character in the film is in a catatonic state for most of the film, but he has shifty eyes, and you can tell he’s planning something- but you’re unsure of what it is.

Now here’s some of the major problems I had with the film: There’s no way that you have these three potentially dangerous patients in this insane asylum, and have employees that are this incompetent. Another thing I wasn’t too crazy about was during some of the fight scenes, there’s some POV shots that are used- and in concept it should work, but it doesn’t really work in execution.

Sarah Paulson plays a psychiatrist but she mentions comic book facts to try to dispute the fact that these three individuals aren’t superheroes and I felt myself getting annoyed because I was thinking in my head “I know how comic books work, you don’t need to stand here and say these things like you’re dropping some knowledge on me.” And the last thing I didn’t like was the ending… without spoiling anything it’s confusing, messy, and makes no sense.

One thing I’ll mention that I liked before I give my rating was the tender moments between Kevin and Casey, the girl that Kevin let go in “Split” and you feel like there’s a real connection between these two characters.

Grade:

To recap my TL;DR review: The beginning was cool, the middle was too slow, and the ending was sloppy and made no sense. I debated between giving this either a C or a D so I’ll go 6.5/10 or a D+. I don’t know what happened, but this could have been a lot better.

“Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald” Review

Plot Synopsis:

In an effort to thwart Grindelwald’s plans of raising pure-blood wizards to rule over all non-magical beings, Albus Dumbledore enlists his former student Newt Scamander, who agrees to help, unaware of the dangers that lie ahead. Lines are drawn as love and loyalty are tested, even among the truest friends and family, in an increasingly divided wizarding world (Google).

Critique:

This is the second installment of the Harry Potter spin-off series, Fantastic Beasts… or as I like to call it, the Harry Potter Pokémon series- and I gotta say, it’s not as bad as some of the critics are saying it is.

Some of the things I really like about the film is that David Yates does a good job directing this film. There’s some beautiful shots, and the visual effects look amazing in this movie.

Another thing I liked is that some of the creatures in this film are more interesting to me than some of the creatures in the first film. For instance, a creature I really liked was the Zouwu, which is this Chinese creature that’s a mix of a lion and a dragon.

Out of all his recent performances, this is Johnny Depp’s best as Grindelwald- he’s a charismatic villain with a silver tongue, and unless you’ve seen some of his heinous actions in the beginning of the film, you could fall under his spell.

Dan Fogler reprises his role as Jacob Kowalski, and I was annoyed that they brought him back at first, but I actually liked him a lot more in this movie. In the first Fantastic Beasts film he was the comedy relief, and in this film he’s often times the voice of reason. There’s even a scene I like where he’s giving Newt advice on how to talk to a girl he likes, and their dialogue together is hilarious!

The last thing I’ll say is there’s a major plot twist in the end that I did not see coming, and I’m interested to see how that plays into the next three films.

Now it’s time to get into the negatives: the story in this film feels all over the place to me, and it feels scatter brained, like there’s no consistency between ideas. Another issue I have is this film has way too many expositional scenes, or scenes involving flashbacks. There’s one scene where we’re given about five minutes of exposition, only for a character to say “actually this is how it happened” and we get ten minutes of flashbacks.

Grade:

I’m hoping that this film is just a bump in the road, and that the next three films sort the story out, because this series doesn’t have any source material like the original series had.

If you’re a die-hard Harry Potter fan, you’re going to like this a lot. If you’re just a casual viewer, this probably won’t be your cup of tea.

I’m giving “Fantastic Beasts 2” a 7/10 or a C.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom REVIEW

Plot:

Three years after the destruction of the Jurassic World theme park, Owen Grady and Claire Dearing return to the island of Isla Nublar to save the remaining dinosaurs from a volcano that’s about to erupt. They soon encounter terrifying new breeds of gigantic dinosaurs, while uncovering a conspiracy that threatens the entire planet.

Review:

Before I start, I want to admit something: I haven’t seen all the Jurassic Park movies, I’ve only seen the OG Jurassic Park and the third movie…. Now, going into this movie- if you just wanna see a bunch of Dinosaurs, you’re going to enjoy this movie quite a lot. If you came to see the story- you might as well stay home, because this movie gets dumb REAL quick!

For starters, this movie focuses on a group of people who wanna save the Dinosaurs, a group of animals that have been extinct already- so all you’re really saving are a bunch of Dino clones. Another issue this movie has is a bunch of dumb, incompetent villains… one that willing goes into a cage holding a genetically engineered, dangerous dinosaur. I’ve never seen a movie start off so well, only to trip over itself so quickly until I watched this movie.

There’s a few bright spots in this film: the two scenes that I enjoyed were the group escaping an island with an active volcano exploding… and the scene with the Indoraptor stalking Chris Pratt and a few other characters. The second scene was done better because the director of this movie is known for directing the horror movie “The Orphanage” so when the horror element kicks in… it’s done extremely well! An honorable mention is a scene where a villain points out the fact that the fault isn’t his own, but the heroes in their own way contribute to it… this movie has such a black and white viewpoint so it was cool that for a moment, there was a shade of gray.

I had a few nitpicks and I was willing to let them slide…. then came the ending- Jesus Christ, that ending!

I don’t care how much science fiction you put in this movie, you simply don’t get away with an ending like that! It was dumb, and completely absurd on so many levels, and if they make a sequel, the next movie is gonna have to address repercussions that this movie raises. While we’re on this absurd path, let’s just make a bunch of friggin dragons- because at least that makes sense after what I just saw!

Grade:

It’s just amazing to me how the longer these movies go, the dumber they become… I had some enjoyment here and there, but to me the ending is paramount… and this ending ruined everything good about the movie for me.

So with that, I’m giving Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom a D+

“A Wrinkle in Time” movie review

Plot:

Meg Murry and her little brother, Charles Wallace, have been without their scientist father, Mr. Murry, for five years, ever since he discovered a new planet and used the concept known as a tesseract to travel there. Joined by Meg’s classmate Calvin O’Keefe and guided by the three mysterious astral travelers known as Mrs. Whatsit, Mrs. Who and Mrs. Which, the children brave a dangerous journey to a planet that possesses all of the evil in the universe.

Review:

I knew going into this movie that I’m probably not the targeted audience for this film, and I was fine with that- but I thought it was a bad sign that the film opened with a video package from the director saying that the film is for people with child wonderment, and I took that as a sign that the studio had absolutely no confidence in this film.

Is this movie weird and trippy? Definitely! And I was rocking with it for the first half of the film because I was getting used to it… it’s just that last half that gets so absolutely bizarre and so nonsensical in the sniffing glue type of way that I felt myself getting lost in the film. There’s two movie tropes I absolutely cannot stand that this movie uses, and those tropes are ‘love is the answer, love conquers all’ and that Evil is nothing but a black cloud with tentacles and a deep voice. The reason I hate those tropes is because I find them lazy, and it was especially lazy here. The actors weren’t terrible, so I’ll give them that. But like I said, this isn’t a film made for me.

Grade:

I’ll give “A Wrinkle in Time” a 7/10 or a C. I didn’t love the movie, but I didn’t hate it either, it’s kinda Middle In The Road for me.